Do you smell gas?

I know, I know, it's such a strange question, but read on. I have learned my lesson from past holiday seasons that I must come up with bizarre measures to protect my knitting enjoyment and integrity. I no long promise anything to anyone. That doesn't mean that I don't have grandiose plans. I just don't speak them aloud. It's also a mistake to answer the question, "What are you knitting"?, or worse, "Who's that for"?. DO NOT ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS. DO NOT SMILE MYSTERIOUSLY. Both of these actions can only lead to disappointed and recriminatory looks aimed at you during gift opening. What's a knitter to do, you might well be thinking. You could knit in the bathroom or any room with a lock, but this would cause some serious issues if you live with other people. Other options, such as knitting only when others are asleep or out of the house come with their own complications. My method has been working quite nicely. I just smile absentmindedly, peering up stupidly over my glasses and ask if anyone else smells gas.(we have an old gas boiler and two other auxiliary heating systems, so this question strikes fear into all that live here) The knitting questions have all but stopped. I think it's a sub conscious Pavlovian aversion to the cellar steps.
Below are some of my grandiose mystery projects.